Advent and Waiting

*This will be posted later this month on my church's blog as part of their daily advent devotionals. I just really wanted to post it on my blog too. :)

Growing up, I always knew about Advent. My family had an Advent wreath that we would light each Sunday evening, and on Christmas day. As kids, my little brother and I were never allowed to open presents until my father read the Christmas story out of Luke. The older I got, the more annoyed and impatient I got with this tradition. I had not yet grasped the concept that Advent was actually a season of waiting – waiting for the coming of Christ.

You would think that waiting would get easier with age, but it doesn’t. I think we just get better at feigning patience. This is probably the first Christmas season where I have truly found myself in an attitude more appropriate for Advent. No early Christmas shopping. Halfway through December, I haven’t baked any Christmas cookies yet. Instead of exciting plans or ‘Christmas spirit’, I am much more focused on waiting for God. Waiting for Him to show up in my life, waiting for Him to provide, and waiting for His direction.

I would like to say that this attitude has come out of my intense devotion to Christ, but that is so far from true it’s not even funny. I feel like this past year has been particularly trying for me, and I have reached a point where I’m just waiting. It might be more of an “I give up! Whatever, God. Just do Your thing” than it is patiently waiting. But as the psalmist writes in Psalm 119, “It was good for me to be afflicted, that I might learn Your decrees.”

In this season of Advent, I am clinging to the hope, love, peace and joy that Christ promises. “Remember Your word to Your servant, for You have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” Psalm 119:49-50 I can honestly say that the Christmas songs on the radio and the decorations everywhere are just not doing it for me this year. I much prefer the declaration that “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.” Rev. 4:8 Let us repeat this declaration, day and night, as we wait for the Lord and His promises. 

Blessings in Storms

It's been quite a while since I have posted anything - it has been very busy in our household! It has been a few weeks since Thanksgiving, but I am trying to maintain a grateful heart throughout this consumer-driven holiday season. The best way for me to do this is to reflect on the many blessings that God has bestowed upon us. Most of our blessings have come as provisions directly related to obstacles or trying times, hence my "blessings in storms" post. I wanted to share these stories of God's provision as a way to give glory to Him, and to let you know that when you're having a rough time, you're not alone!

I saw this on Pinterest, and I honestly burst out laughing! There is just something special about seeing things like this that I resonate with, that clearly other people resonate with as well. It helps me to know that I'm not the only one. I have used this quote in three conversations this week already. And it's Monday. This is my life, and I choose to laugh about it rather than cry. :)

Storm: Chris got injured and required major knee surgery, the weekend before I had finals.

Blessings: 1) Somehow I was able to operate on little to no sleep for the week, although this did require a few 3am breakdowns. 2) Chris happened to get injured while at Young Life club, so Young Life had a secondary insurance to cover what our high deductible insurance did not. Praise Jesus! 3) God gifted me with a good friend and neighbor who was an athletic training major, and who graciously did physical therapy exercises with my husband so that our marriage could remain intact. Husband + wife + physical therapy = bad news!

Storms: 1) In order to get a good deal on an apartment, we had to move right in the middle of Chris' frantic efforts to get high school students to Young Life Camp. 2) Also, his car broke down on the way to the new apartment with the moving truck, leaving us with one car for over a week.

Blessings: 1) I was currently class-less and jobless, so I could take a break from my internship to do all the packing and unpacking myself. 2) Since I was stuck at our apartment without a car for about a week, our apartment got completely unpacked and settled! People marveled at how fast everything came together, but they just don't know that it was only because I was stuck in it. :)

Storm: My scholarships ran out, and we had to pay $1,900 out of pocket for my fall semester of graduate school.

Blessings: 1) I had lots of scholarships up until this point. 2) We had the $1,900, even though it wiped out most of our savings.

Storms: 1) My car unexpectedly died (as in, it would take several thousand dollars to fix - a.k.a. dead for all intents and purposes). 2) Chris' car needed major repairs (again) and couldn't pass inspection - at the same time. Needless to say, there was a lot of "Really, God?" going on. 3) Due to the tuition costs mentioned above, we had almost no car fund. 4) I got a ticket for driving Chris' car when the registration was expired.

Blessings: 1) Friends with connections to amazing people who will sell us their car at a very discounted rate - as well as give us a free lunch when we come get the car. 2) Generous family members who will help us front the money for the car. 3) Although we are now officially broke, we had the money we needed to pay for the ticket, title transfer, etc. 4) Generous friends who let us use their family condo when we had to drive to the Outer Banks to get the car. We were able to make a special trip out of it for our 3rd anniversary!

Sometimes I struggle with wanting more - more money, more things, more down time. But then I have to remember how Jesus taught us to pray - "Give us today our daily bread". We only ask for what we need for today - because that is truly all that we need. While there have been tears and frustrations and some lying prostrate on the floor in prayer, I can honestly say that I have never been lacking. God has always given us exactly what we need, and I am truly grateful. No more savings account just means that we rely fully and completely upon the graciousness of Him who gives us all things.

Fundraising Gala

Last Thursday, NoblePurpose Ministries hosted its first fundraising gala. There was a Sudanese youth choir, tea and silk scarves from India, a presentation and a beautiful rooftop view of downtown Greensboro. Oh, and did I mention that my summer internship was to plan this gala? Whew!

The President and Founder, Dan Nobles and I

Overall, I think the event was a success. Being my first time planning a fundraiser, there were definitely plenty of things I could have done differently - getting some more volunteer help being one of them! Events were not meant to be planned by one person! I did learn a lot, however, and we managed to make a little bit of money. :) My crazy crazy busy summer has finally wound down, and I get a few breather weeks before classes start up on the 20th. I love nonprofit work, but sometimes it can really take it out of you!!

To view more pictures from the event, visit our wonderful photographer's blog here.

Being a Ministry Wife

I would like to begin this post by tipping my hat and raising my glass to all the pastor's wives out there who make countless unnoticed sacrifices for the furthering of God's kingdom. Bless you and thank you.

Being the wife of a man who is dedicated to full-time ministry is something that I have been struggling through for the past year-ish. Like the majority of American families today, we both have to work to pay the bills, and I have a different kind of job - a calling to nonprofit work. BUT, if you think that my husband's ministry job only involves him, you are sorely mistaken. The tricky thing about ministry jobs is that there are no such things as 9-5, lunch breaks, weekends, overtime pay, and other such "luxuries". Planning a date night in our household is beyond complicated, and we don't even have children yet. Oh, Christmas falls on a Sunday? Guess what you're doing. Mmhmm.

Don't get me wrong. Ministry jobs are often the most rewarding, and I have no doubt that my husband will receive many crowns in heaven for his love and patience in working with teenagers. But let's be honest here. I am not the biggest fan of having 6 teenage boys living at my house every other afternoon. I love them, and they are precious brothers in Christ, but I am an introvert and they are teenage boys. Need I elaborate?

I have had to learn to be flexible - something that frankly, I greatly detest. I have had to learn that Sunday is not a day that I get to spend with my husband - it's the day I lend my husband to the rest of the world (along with many other nights and weekends). I have had to learn to let go and give up things that I normally deem important (like showers on Sunday mornings when all 5 guys who spent the night take it the whole time). Summertime equals multiple youth trips, leaving me at home to work and make as many plans as possible so I don't feel lonely. Meal planning? Yeah right. I make large quantities of food at one time and just stick it all in the fridge. We hardly ever eat at the same time, so we are both perpetually eating leftovers.

Also, I have had to fight the root of jealousy that threatens my heart. While my husband works very hard, his job also includes going out to eat frequently, going to movies, playing games, and various other "leisure" activities. Sometimes I think to myself, "I wish I had a job where I could get my movie tickets paid for and 'hanging out' is often the same thing as 'working'." Our budget is very tight, so I do not get to participate in activities like that. I can't tell you the last time I've seen a movie in a theater and my best lunches consist of pb&j and yogurt. But when those thoughts threaten to make me bitter or unhappy, I just have to remind myself of all the other aspects of his job dealing with teenagers, and I am immediately glad that I do what I do.

We constantly struggle with that balance between doing "good" things for God (a.k.a. ministry things) and spending valuable time together. I have definitely been stretched and pushed outside of my comfort zone, and I am not necessarily unhappy about that. I trust God's infinite wisdom and sovereign plan for us. Having a spouse in ministry is definitely trying and difficult and not something you can completely understand until you've been there. I know that I had no idea until God called us into this mess. But ultimately, I would argue that it is all worth it. Have you ever seen a 16-year-old guy come to church for the first time ever and fall in love with it? Have you seen multiple kids stand and declare their newfound faith in Christ? Have you heard a group of new Christians practicing their testimonies in your living room? Oh, it's worth it.

Brookgreen Gardens

Last week I spent a few days at Surfside Beach in SC with my Dad. Chris was away at YL Camp in Colorado, so I took a vacation! While there, we visited Brookgreen Gardens - a beautiful, landscaped garden filled with sculptures that took you back to the time of horse-drawn carriages, petticoats and walks. No description could do it justice, so I thought I'd use pictures.

Manor Born

At book club a few months ago, we were reading Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. One of the ladies exclaimed that she was most certainly made for having tea brought out to her on the lawn, writing letters in her morning room, and taking leisurely strolls through the garden. She declared herself to be "manor born" - meaning, born to live in a manor (the true, old-fashioned European kind). While I enjoy the modern marvels of technology and the wonderful scientific advancements, I think I am manor born as well.

The above picture is from our most recent book club, after reading Persuasion by Jane Austen. I had read it before, but it was nice to re-read and discuss the literary elements that make it such a classic. Instead of our usual wine and snacks, we had high tea with china teapots and tea cups and loose leaf teas. There were scones, strawberries, homemade Devonshire cream and even sugar cubes! It was a fantastic spread at my dear friend's house that took me back to my childhood memories of having tea parties, wearing dresses and wide-brimmed white hats. 

I also realized that most of the books I was provided with as a little girl were from my mother's or grandmother's bookshelves, so I grew up reading Little Women, Eight Cousins, The Secret Garden, Five Little Peppers and How They Grew, and other antiquated classics. I honestly think I am a better person for the enriching and stimulating books that I read (regardless of how sheltered I was). I am as modern and as adventurous as the next girl, but could I be prim and proper and entertain house guests and serve tea? Unequivocally. 

'Space'

"He had read of 'Space': at the back of his thinking for years had lurked the dismal fancy of the black, cold vacuity, the utter deadness, which was supposed to separate the worlds. He had not known how much it affected him till now - now that the very name 'Space' seemed a blasphemous libel for this empryean ocean of radiance in which they swam. He could not call it 'dead'; he felt life pouring into him from it every moment. How indeed should it be otherwise, since out of this ocean all the worlds and all their life had come? He had thought it barren: he now saw that it was the womb of worlds, whose blazing and innumerable offspring looked down nightly even upon the earth with so many eyes - and here, with how many more! No: Space was the wrong name."                Out of the Silent Planet - C.S. Lewis



The Triangulum Emission Garren Nebula

A "star nursery"

One of NASA's most famous images, "Pillars of Creation" - in the Eagle Nebula

In these regions the formations of gas, dust, and other materials "clump" together to form larger masses, which attract more matter, and eventually will become massive enough to form stars. The remaining materials are then believed to form planets and other planetary system objects.

Well Red

Oh, how I have fallen in love with Well Red, the ladies book club that I am a part of. Working full time and having classes 3 nights a week means I have very little time for fellowship. Our once-a-month book club meetings bring me joy and life!

First of all, the club is called Well Red due to the amount of red wine that we consume during our meetings. Eating fancy finger foods, drinking wine, and discussing a good book with wise and wonderful women is definitely one of my favorite things. In February, we read Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier - a classic book that starts out slow but leaves you wide-eyed and aghast at the end. In March, we read Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis - a galactic fantasy that blows your mind and makes you question a lot of things you once assumed about God, the Earth, humans, and sin. I'm looking forward to re-reading Persuasion by Jane Austen for April. Books gain so much more meaning and emphasis when you get to discuss them with others!

At our last meeting, only a few of us could make it, but we ended up staying and talking for 5 hours! Since this is some of the only community that I get all week, I just soak it up! Thankfully, my second part-time job is almost over, so I will hopefully have a little more time to invest in friendships. I can't even remember the last time I got to just "hang out". I am so ready for some time to breathe!

Quote of the month for February:

"I wondered how many people there were in the world who suffered, and continued to suffer, because they could not break out from their own web of shyness and reserve, and to their blindness and folly built up a great distorted wall in front of them that hid the truth." – Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Quote of the month for March:

“And I say also this. I do not think the forest would be so bright, nor the water so warm, nor love so sweet, if there were no danger in the lakes.” Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis

Cake

I am not really a food blogger, but this was totally worth a blog post.

I saw this recipe on pinterest and decided that I was going to give it a shot. I made this buckeye cake for our Valentine's Day celebration, which was on Friday, because we basically never see each other during the week (e.g. Tuesdays, when 2/14 comes along). Let's just say that I have never spent so much time on one recipe in my life. It literally took me 2 days to make. Ridiculous. Also, I learned that I need to come up with a better way to improvise a double-boiler besides a cereal bowl in a pot of hot water.

I tried to explain to Chris why it's such a big deal that I did this. I do not love to cook, nor do I enjoy fancy recipes or foods. Really, to me, food is food. Dessert, however, is another matter - which is probably why I was feeling ambitious enough to try this. I will say that it is absolutely delicious so all that work was mostly worth it.

Now for the description that made me want to try this in the first place: a layer of chocolate cake, a layer of chocolate peanut butter glaze, a layer of peanut butter cheesecake, a layer of the glaze, another layer of chocolate cake, a coating of handmade peanut butter frosting, and topped with the rest of the glaze. Everything was made from scratch (except the chocolate cake, which was a mix), so that is also why this took forever to make. Lots of dirty dishes and a chocolate-peanut-butter-coated kitchen later, I got this cake. If you are also feeling adventurous, you can find the recipe here. Of course, hers looks much prettier than mine, and I have no idea how to take pretty pictures of food. 

Also, it will take us forever to eat this, which I am completely ok with. For one, I have an embarrassingly enormous sweet tooth. I have at least some small form of dessert every day. Two, I hate spending more time cooking things than they take to be eaten. In this case, we better enjoy it for more than 2 days. 

Chris thinks I should make cakes like this for people, or sell them, and I said I would if I actually enjoyed making them. I am definitely not going to that much trouble for something that I don't get to eat. Call me selfish, but I am just not that kind of cook. I think I'll stick to one tough recipe per year. 

What's On My Nightstand

I am stealing this idea from my friend April. I will participate in this monthly update on what I am reading, what I have read and what's coming up! I am really trying to read more and expand my cultural horizons. :) I recently joined a women's book club, and am excited about the upcoming books on our list.

What I read in January:

The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

Yes, I got a little obsessive the last week of my Christmas break and read all three of them in 4 days. Loved the story and the concept, but not necessarily a literary masterpiece, in my opinion.

People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks

Some of the most beautiful, masterful story-telling I have ever read in my life. This book was so rich and absorbing! I highly recommend it. An amazing book - I want to read more stuff by her!

What I am currently reading:

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

I decided to re-read it recently, and since Chris got me a beautiful collector's edition last year for Christmas, it was about time I did so. The last time I read it, I was probably 10 and my mom actually read it to me while I was sick. Also, I want to read March by Geraldine Brooks (about Mr. March) and needed to refresh my memory on the rest of his family.

What I am reading next month:
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
March by Geraldine Brooks (maybe, depending on time)